machine building 101

the military has a process in which they tear down a person mentally and physically and then build them back up. a reprogramming i guess you could call it. kind of in the process of doing this to myself... im broken mentally and physically at the minute but i am recovering and getting stronger in both categories. building a better machine. am i obsessing over myself too much? i guess maybe i am or maybe i havent payed enough attention to myself to realize that what i need is in fact a big fat dose of "break down and rebuild". i thought i knew what it felt like to be in this process. i thought i went through this before a year ago.. but this year showed me i didnt know shit. ive never felt stronger and ive also never felt weaker.. but i wouldnt have it any other way because i know what im gonna get in the end