voices... in my pants

i would like to share some random thoughts if you dont mind

In times of choice in the game of life, there are 3 options; do i follow the brain, the heart or the cock ( what i refer to as "the center line counsel"). all have their advantages. all have their downfalls. they all make their pressence known.. the problem is they can never agree on a single fuckin thing.

at last

mission accomplished

purgatory

so.. its been months since ive posted anything on this blog. so here it goes. PURGATORY. its what im calling my room at the minute. see, my room has never felt like my room. it was always just a place i slept or hung out in. it never felt like it belonged to me. even when i would have a girlfriend stay with me, it had the vibe like i was in a strangers house with a girl.. it was very weird. it was crazy. i didnt have a room in my own house. it was actually pretty upsetting. i would wake up and just be in a horrible mood just because of the color of the walls. it felt like i couldnt hang up artwork or paintings. i couldnt put up posters or anything because it felt like i was putting up shit in someone elses room. this is what the room looked like..




pretty rediculous huh.. dig that extensive wardrobe in the closet ;).. so i decided it was time to paint it. i didnt realize at the time how much the vibe would change. pretty liberating. feel like i just got out of a relationship. its not complete yet though. thats why i call it purgatory. its the inbetween. its still not my room just yet but its not the old room at the same time. just spent 2 days primering.. this is what its at now



so there it is. a blank room. still not mine, but still not the old room. i feel much better about it. once its finished i actually think it might make me a happier person. its gonna be my room. i feel very good about it.. so next step, another layer of primer on the ceiling and a light grey for the walls. one more day to go..

superhero complex part 2

so um... i think im gonna sign up for 24 hour fitness pretty soon.. if anybody wants start "superhero" training with me.. hit me up.

superhero complex

when i was younger i wanted to be a superhero. i was obsessed with batman and spiderman. i was so sure that i was gonna grow up to be batman. i wish i would have kept that drive. i was about 8 when i read my first batman comic. in highschool i started lifting weights...everyday...for hours. taking weight gainers and protines. i became obsessed with being a big, citzen protecting motherfucker. somewhere between junior year and now, i lost my drive. thinking back on it now i was doing realy good. i worked my ass off everyday with a smile on my face. imagine a 5'9 100lb nerd trying outlift guys twice his size...and actualy getting close to succeding. i wish i didnt loose that drive. dont get me wrong, i know im not gonna be batman...im not insane....anymore..... lol.. anyway i think back on how driven iwas.. my body would literaly be in unbearable pain and i would still go to the gym like it was nothing. i think its time to become a superhero again.... i mean as far as how i see myself.. not like actualy going out at night beating the shit out of people. im talking about improving myself the way i feel i should. i was a crazy little fucker and i miss being that because i was happy. i had a goal and nothing would stop me from getting there. ive been watching alot of superhero movies lately and it got me inspired. im kinda turning into a lazy slob which is not what i would have wanted for myself. anyway play batman arkham assylum its fuckin bad ass

stress and drama

who would have thought there would be so much drama in the tattoo world. i dont want to be involed in it. i just want to tattoo. i dont care about whos trying to steal who from a shop or whatever the fuck it may be. fact is, ive been loyal....110% but i will not involve myself in stupid childish bullshit. if there is going to be a fight over someone trying to steal me or whoever from the shop, i will not get involved. i want no part of it. its a stupid fight to pick. offers were made and we did not leave. ive stood up for the shop already... i do not need to prove myself anyfurther. i will not get in a fight with someone i dont know over this. i dont want any enemies.

revelations

so here i sit... drinking a tall jack and coke...tired. im very tired today. i sat in the shop for 7 hours... bored as shit. it shouldnt be like that. i should be painting, drawing, creating, tattooing. but no, i find it realy hard to focus in that neon green room. things should be diffrent. somtimes (pretty much all the time) i feel like i should be apprenticing. there is alot i dont know.... i need to know. sometimes (on rare occasions) i feel like im making good progress but im not at the level i need to be. im not improving fast enough.... im not at matt shamahs level, im not at bert kraks level, im not at derek nobles level, im not at todd nobles level, ect.. ect.. ect. i know, theyve been tattooing 10+ years or whatever but i need to get to their level. i want to be respected. man im drunk.


Fuck Megan Fox..... thank you and goodnight